I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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