...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize