i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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