Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
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did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
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Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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