how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize