Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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