When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
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He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
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Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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