I love black thongs
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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