i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
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My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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