I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize