Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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