Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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