wrigley field is MILF paradise
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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