He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize