my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize