is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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