I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize