hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
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Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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