He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
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I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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