I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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