I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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