i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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