I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize