Three words: puerto rican gang bang
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize