You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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