Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.

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  (513): Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box. http://tfl.nu/uquv
  Replies (7) Good night (3205) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night

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  (603): i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening (508): yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night http://tfl.nu/fae5
  Replies (45) Good night (5359) Bad night (500)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.

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  (773): I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier. http://tfl.nu/mu3y
  Replies (36) Good night (1166) Bad night (7309) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating

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  (815): I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating http://tfl.nu/k15b
  Replies (30) Good night (969) Bad night (6847) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.

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  (414): no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good. http://tfl.nu/zhbu
  Replies (23) Good night (5612) Bad night (1034) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps

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  (703): I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps http://tfl.nu/dpvm
  Replies (8) Good night (4133) Bad night (900) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.

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  (734): you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm. http://tfl.nu/i6hi
  Replies (12) Good night (2537) Bad night (1127) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted

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  (785): totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted http://tfl.nu/rzdq
  Replies (2) Good night (3170) Bad night (556) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.

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  (319): Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow. http://tfl.nu/xfpi
  Replies (20) Good night (2967) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.

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  (251): Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf. http://tfl.nu/98oh
  Replies (5) Good night (544) Bad night (1973) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.

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  (303): YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW. http://tfl.nu/0vlm
  Replies (2) Good night (919) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.

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  (732): I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster. http://tfl.nu/5e26
  Replies (14) Good night (2113) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly

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  (724): These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly http://tfl.nu/feuo
  Replies (5) Good night (731) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them

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  (304): The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them http://tfl.nu/pyf8
  Replies (10) Good night (404) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"

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  (404): If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy" http://tfl.nu/w6q2
  Replies (3) Good night (1216) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt

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