She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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