At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
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I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
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She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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