that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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