so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
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I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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