Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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