so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
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You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
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You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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