I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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