...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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