Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize