haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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