you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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