I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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