if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize