Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize