They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
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Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
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Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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