i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize