the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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