Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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