Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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