I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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