I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
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If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
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I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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