Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize