Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize