But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
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You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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